To The Moms NOT Feeling The Love This Mothers Day
I get you I have been a mother for 21 years now. I was a single mother, a working mother, and now a married stay at home mom. No matter what type of mom you are Mothers Day can be hard.
If you have no one to help your child get you a card and or a gift, you may get nothing. On a day where your friends are on social media posting about brunch with their kids. Or the special treatment they received it may rub salt in the wound.
Heck, many of us have significant others or spouses like mine who are great a lot of things but suck at holidays. I get nothing on days like this.
I am not hoping this year. One year my husband got me a card, and he intended on having the kids sign it. I found it in the car months after Mothers Day. Since this was in our Toyota Corolla we had ages ago this means I can recall an effort made on his part ten years ago.
I think a few years ago he gave me a gift card to Sephora. In this family I'm the one who remembers special days and takes care. So when someone acknowledges a special day for me it's rare. So rare that I cannot recall the last time I was remembered.
I am not bitter either. It's hard though. I recognize that while my family sucks at making me feel appreciated, it's not everything.
Another issue is money. Many people see it as a barrier. You do not have to spend a dime to let someone know they are appreciated and loved. Some people cannot see past that. If they cannot afford a card and flowers or some small gift, they figure why bother.
A lot moms would be more than happy to sleep in late on Mothers Day. Wake up to a clean house. Enjoy a shower with the door closed. Eat a hot meal in peace. None of these things need money.
There are the moms who are struggling. It may be depression. You may have experienced a loss. Or you have too much to do. You might not have enough help. Your spouse or significant other may work two jobs and is never home and you are alone often. Mother's Day reminds you of what you are missing.
We all struggle and Mother's Day can be a day that causes us pain instead of happiness. And that is ok. If anyone tries to put you down or set, you straight for it ignore them.
There is a difference between being ungrateful and being hurt. Now if your family got you a card and took you out to breakfast and you get mad that is petty.
Let's say your kids brought you a card they made at school. Your spouse did not make sure as a family they honored you on Mothers Day that is wrong. As a couple that shares children that is disrespectful.
The single mom that got nothing? Being the only parent is lonely. I know from personal experience.
If your husband works two jobs and cannot afford anything. I know how hard this is. Go easy on your spouse because he is struggling too.
So what do you do? If you suspect you may get nothing, do your own planning. You heard me right. Treat yourself. Take your kids out to brunch. Get a pedicure. Buy yourself a treat.
If you cannot afford to go out talk to your kids. Explain what Mothers Day is. Help them make you a card. Lay on the couch all day and watch tv with your kids. Go for a walk. Do what you want.
It is hard being a parent. To top it off, there is a day once a year where children honor their mothers. Which makes little sense for families with small children. Small children cannot understand the concept and are not old enough to remember the day and plan. This means someone has to remember mom. In a lot of families the person who plans is you guessed it Mom!
So try not to sweat it this Mother's Day. Stay off social media if that helps. Do what you want and try to remember today is about you being with your kids. They love and appreciate you even if they never say so. Life and parenting is full of challenges. Do not let one holiday make you feel you are not enough or loved.