Is Halloween Still Fun?

Halloween is amazing. People can be whatever they want. You can be a different person and empower yourself. Some need that night of make believe. It's not even Halloween yet. People want to ruin the Holiday.

Moms asking is my child old enough to trick or treat alone. Moms are asking can my teenager take part or can my kids go out alone?

It’s more than free candy. Halloween is about having a day where we can leave our houses and visit our neighbors and to meet new people. A day to let kids run wild and be kids. Kids are not kids for long. A day of pretending is needed.

We call people helicopter parents if they walk their kids to school. Free range parents let kids walk by themselves and someone calls the cops.

Don’t even get me started on how childhood comes to a crashing halt thanks to the Internet.

Kids are growing faster these days. Kids are finding out things they shouldn’t hear about until they are much older. 

No matter how old you are, I don’t care if you trick-or-treat. I will hand out candy to whoever knocks.

These days people are opinionated and vocal. Who cares where your trick or treaters live. Children come because they want candy. I’m so sick and tired of people with opinions talking about teenagers shouldn’t be able to trick-or-treat. Teenagers are still kids too. Why should we defend kids wanting to act like kids?

Trick or treating has lost its appeal. Most houses on one street turn the lights off and one or two families are passing out candy. Last year one house took garbage cans and blocked off the area that led to the door. If you don't want to take part, put up a sign that says we don’t take part in Halloween or don't answer the door. I don't understand.

I’m not telling people that don’t want to take part they should. If you’re against kids eating candy or you don't want to answer the door, you can get stickers or erasers. Put them out in a bowl by your door, and no one will bother you.

How unfortunate because Halloween used to mean something.

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I remember being a kid and telling my mom I'm going outside and not coming back for hours. No one had cell phones. I didn’t worry about people trying to kidnap me. Grown-ups looked out for kids. If you got lost or hurt, they would help you. If a child misbehaved an adult would tell them to stop.

In the past people cared more. Helped each other out without asking. Judged less.

Other moms and dads would help other peoples children. No one turned a blind eye like I see today. People don't want to get involved. Children could play outside. I'm not saying the world was perfect. But the world seemed safer. People looked out for each other better.

As a child I wandered around all day outside unsupervised. I remember walking places with my best friend. We walked five miles each way to go shopping. I remember going to the mall and picked up hours later or taking a bus.

Halloween was terrific when as a kid. You are out for hours. Trick or Treating started before dark. Knock on doors after 9 and people did not care. They greeted you with a smile.

These days I always wait for dark before trick or treating. Otherwise someone complains that my kids are coming to their house too early. Now if you knock on their door past 9 o’clock, they’ll get mad at you for showing up so late. Halloween is not fun anymore. Is this a Southern California thing? A friend on Facebook I’ve been friends with for 12 years and every year she counts the trick-or-treaters. She loses count after 100 kids.

Our new neighborhood is better. Between the garbage can house and the drinking parents the night seemed sad.

I try not to judge but the mom drinking a large glass of wine and sent her older child back home for a refill. Another group of dads were drinking beer. In public and they did not even try to hide it.

It is sad when a kid is trying to tell their parents what candy they received, and the parents are not answering. Parents gave blank stares and drank or ignored the kids. I love beer. But when did it become ok to drink in public?

I get understand watching the kids can get boring I do. I do not understand the drinking. Did the parents drink to pass the time or cope? They isolate themselves on a night when we should socialize with the people in our community.

Halloween is not fun anymore. People used to care. A house or two never turned on the lights but everyone else passed out candy. Some people put out chairs and socialized. Adults dressed up. People chatted.

This year has been terrible and scary for us adults. I cannot imagine how this past year has impacted our kids. Halloween is the one night where you get to stay out late and eat candy. Kids need a carefree fun Halloween this year. The adults do too.

Halloween is not about being scary and getting candy. Halloween is about community and about welcoming your neighbor's children. I’m suggesting take your kids out this year no matter how old they are just let them have fun.

Halloween used to mean something. Now Halloween is another holiday that lost its meaning to most people. This used to a fun night. My kids will never experience trick or treating the way I did in the eighties and nineties. I try hard so that Halloween is special no matter what. I hope your Halloween is wonderful this year.

Have a Happy Halloween. Dress up, eat candy, carve pumpkins with your kids, and have fun. Check out some Halloween themed clothing items in case costumes are not your thing. 

If this is your first-year trick or treating with your kids or not here are tips.

Halloween Satefy Tips-

  • Eat before the kids go out. They are less likely to dig into the candy when they are full.

  • Make a plan in case you get separated, or someone needs to go to the restroom. I try to stay near home or a shopping center that has bathrooms.  Pick a safe spot for your kids to wait if you get separated until you can get back to them.

  • Bring water. If you put in a spill-proof bottle, it can go right in the treat sack.

  • Make sure cars can see you.  Mom and Dad that means you too. Glow sticks, flashing necklaces, reflective tape, and flashlights work well. I make sure my kids have a glow necklace and stick on their neck. I place extra glow in the dark bracelets on them to make sure they are harder to miss.

  • Tell your kids you need to check their candy before leaving. Make it clear they should eat nothing until it is inspected and why. This Popsugar article is helpful.

  • If it's your kids first year going out alone establish ground rules. Kids need to check in or call. I have Life 360 on our phones so if the kids don't answer I know where they are. The first year they go out alone can be a little nerve wrecking but thanks to cell phones we can worry less.

 Click here to read my post on my top five family friendly Halloween movies.

Is Halloween Still Fun?

The Truth About Making Mom Friends

I hate not being able to solve the problems of my Readers. One of the primary purposes of a blog is to offer a solution to the problems that lead a person to a blog post. 

As a blogger, I share and read other blogs. It’s part of my job. Sometimes keeping my hands away from the keyboard is hard. Because what I read is making me want to speak out. However, netiquette and professionalism taught me not to.

One post seen weekly is about Mom's finding their tribe or making mom friends. It is to the point now where I cannot stand these types of posts because while they are well-intentioned for a lot of moms; they are not helpful at all. Leaving me feeling deceived.

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Sometimes these posts suggest why you lack mom friends. Claiming you're a soft touch or not trying hard enough. Sometimes these reasons are valid. Many overlook one significant barrier with friendship, and that is money.

What's left unsaid is sometimes you will never find your tribe or make mom friends. Suggest that someone put yourself out there will earn you an eye of an eye roll. If someone is looking for help to make mom friends online she did and it didn't work. How is this helpful?

Sometimes we are not what the other mom wants. Much like romantic attraction we seek desirable qualities in our friends. We need common interests. 


We live a different lifestyle than others. Some mom cliques live in a cul-de-sac or on the same street. Where almost every family has stay at home parent or the other parent works one good job. Money is not an issue. They can take a vacation every year. Each parent has a nice newer model car. Mom can afford to get her hair nails done. She has a gym membership. A trip to Target for diapers and Windex, she can pay without a silent prayer that her card works. What I am saying is they are middle class or upper middle class and don't struggle like many of us do.


She can go to Starbucks or wine and art classes with the girls because she can afford it. Money makes it easier to go out with friends.

There are moms that pay for one haircut a year. Plenty of women donate hair for a free haircut because most of the time even Great Clips is too expensive. She rents a two bedroom apartment she can't afford even though what they need is a three bedroom. Their clothes came from the clearance rack or are hand-me-downs. Many moms lack enough time to wash her face or comb her hair today so a messy bun or ponytail it is. She and her spouse share a car. So she walks her kids to school. Ot rides in mom's little Taxi in a rush to drop the kids off so she is not late dropping her spouse off at work again. Many these families one parent works two jobs, or both parents work, I know families where both parents worked two jobs each. How can the Clique Moms relate to living a life where you and or your spouse work 18 hour days and have different lifestyles?

What if the other moms invite her to the movies? She has no money. So she can't go. Money is an enormous obstacle.  If one of the other moms offers to pay for her ticket, consider this she cannot afford to have her husband miss work. Suppose he misses work so she can go out. How long will the other moms pay? 
 

We never have a moment for ourselves let alone envy someone else. Time is another obstacle. The SAHM, WAHM, the single moms, the mom whose husband is working 18 hours a day we are too busy to take care of ourselves. Sometimes that is the reason we don't have mom friends because we don't have time to invest and support the friendships. People may say you're unwilling to give time. Spare time is a luxury many of us lack. It's draining to listen to your friends problems. We need a break.

You may never make friends with those moms. Even if you try. They live on the cul-de-sac or same street. Have the same Coach or Dooney and Bourke purse, they drive SUV's or Minivans, and they dress well. It's a generalization but its realistic most schools have groups of mothers who are friends that have many of these materialistic things in common. They have bonded. They may never feel the need to add another mom to their group because they felt nothing is missing from their lives like friends. 

Some of these moms never even see us or sometimes our kids. They are the ones that invite everyone but us. All they see is messy hair, a dinky car, and stained clothes and think we have nothing in common. Or she's the hot mess mother of the class. 
 

We live different lives and have little in common. Your struggle is their nightmare. It is hard to build a friendship when from the outside we are opposites.

Sometimes we focus on those mothers too much we don't see the other moms. Whatever the case is sometimes we judge people and just don't try. What matters are having something in common, and when people judge by appearances alone, they can't see everything. Impressions matter. We never outgrow that do we? 

We can like the same music, books, and tv shows and will never know it. I lived down the street from where the Real Housewives of Orange County filmed for over a decade. I have lived this. My husband even used to wait on Vicki. Living in Orange County, you see many people let money and appearances matter that much. Some moms can't look past the superficial. 


A lack of chemistry with the other moms could play a role. Perhaps you haven't met the right mom yet. Sometimes you’re just a victim of lousy circumstances I feel like if I lived in a different area, I would fit in better. Here in Orange County, and some of those OC clichés are true. We are not middle class, so I don't fit in. I am a Roseanne in a sea Kathy Bowman's. I'm a renter at the end of a dead-end road apartment complex surrounded by homes that are 750k or more. No matter how hard I try, I don't fit in because I can't afford to and that is ok. You shouldn't have to change who you are for acceptance. It's trivial that people cannot get past appearances. 

 

The real victims are the kids. I acted as Room Mom for several years, and our kids hear a lot more than the parents think. What is tragic about this is a parents opinion alters their children's perception of them as well? I heard kids flat-out say things about a mom or dad and their child faces ridicule for it. I had a set of twins in my room for years that had terrible food allergies. The kids say things to them sounded like what the moms would say when they complained about excluding foods that could make the twins sick.

Many of us have no mom friends so don’t be sorry for it. I know loneliness sucks, and it is tough.  Be creative. Some of my biggest supporters are moms I will never meet. If that means joining a mom group and just being a lurker. Do it as you care about these people and feel a connection then do it. Posting in mom groups or even lurking can help.

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So it's ok if you never become part of a mom tribe or your mom tribe is just you and your sister. If your best mom advice comes from Lorelai Gilmore, I say solidarity sister. If a fictional person says things that help build you up then take time to watch that show, so you feel a connection to something. It is the connection that matters. Friendship is the emotions or conduct of friends; the state of being friends. A contact on a social media website can be a friend. Your tribe may be out there on Instagram or Facebook and you have not found them yet. 

If something helps build you up never overlook that! Mom friends will not necessarily help you be a better mom. 

The sad truth is many of us in life will count our true friends on the one hand. We overlook that sometimes family are our friends. If my husband and I did not have such a solid friendship that is the base of our relationship I'd went crazy years ago. Many overlook that our other half is our best friend. 

You do not need a tribe or mom friends. What you need is a connection. That connection need not be another mother or someone you see daily. Never forget that. The happiest people I know have a handful of friends. Remember that. Its quality, not quantity. 

A Kid Destroyed a Thousand Dollars Worth of Makeup At Sephora?

So I heard about the incident in Georgia at Sephora. A Makeup Artist took a snapshot of a destroyed Make Up Forever display. Someone ruined dozens of pans of eyeshadow. The headlines claimed $1300 in damages. Through other media sources are claiming different values. The point is the Makeup Artist blamed a child.

A Facebook picture goes viral. Then internet parenting experts come out of the woodwork. The caption stated she witnessed nothing. She keeps editing her Facebook post to make her story more credible. Facebook edit history is public. People don't read the captions. Why are people so apt to comment on a fishy story they clearly did not read?

What is strange is they only destroyed one massive display of eyeshadow? Two palettes and plenty of colorful liners are untouched lower within a child's reach. I shop at Sephora with small children, and most little kids cannot reach the testers that high up.

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A small child's finger seems too small to do so much damage the purple shadow where the pan is showing. I believe the damage is from something sharp like an acrylic nail.

Some comments are vulgar. Many made by those saying they do not have kids. Someone who has no experience raising children should not be giving parenting advice. Kids have minds of their owns. Sometimes they do bad things.

I am not trying to be insensitive here but since when has everyone become parenting experts. One person said leash the child (check Twitter) but other parents love to slam the mother. I guess your child never once embarrassed you in public then? Perhaps broke something expensive.

I will call this for what it is posting that picture got the Makeup Artist a lot of attention. We can also say perhaps how petty it is to take a picture and give a parenting lecture. Especially when you arrived after the incident took place.

We do not know a child did that. Commenting parents should not be bringing kids to inappropriate places (Sephora) is judgemental. Someone needs to call BS on this.

Since when is the mall an inappropriate place to bring kids? Last time I checked Sephora is not a bar or a strip club. Malls are full of kids. If kids should not shop with their mothers Sephora would not do well. Many of their customers are mothers.

No one has mentioned the points I will make.

I worked retail, and the fact Sephora never made a statement is strange. Even after, and Allure and Teen Vogue picked this up. One must ask does Sephora has security cameras. Another point someone should make. Stores destroy testers to replace them with new ones. Many stores are preparing for Black Friday.

The fact is Ms Nelson took a picture and posted on Social Media. Which is her side of the story? Who says a kid destroyed the makeup? One person who admits she witnessed nothing.

I am so tired of people bashing parents for what their kids do. I’ve been a parent for 21 years. Sometimes despite your best efforts your kids will do something you find appalling.

If a kid did this we should ask where was the mom or dad and why the heck didn't the store employees stop them? An unattended child could not do this in a few seconds.

The gist is if a child went on a mini rampage that took at least a few minutes. In a store that had a parent, a store manager, and sales associates? There had to be at least 3 adults and no one stopped it or spoke up to the media.

Mother's never rush with a child? Maybe the kid had to go potty. She claims there were small glittery footprints? I'm calling her out on that too. I doubt it made a big enough mess on the floor to step on it and leave a footprint. Not even that much powder fell on to the display below so I am calling BS on the whole thing. She changed her version of the story on Facebook several times.

So what do you think? I feel someone made assumptions and started a sh*tstorm on Twitter.

Update 6/27:

The Facebook For Developers Plugin no longer allows it to embed the original post. She updated her post to say you must call the press agency who now manages the image to share the image. Since when is that? Let me clarify that she means she wants control over who and how her post is now shared. My guess is she wants to be paid to use her image which she has that right. I find it fishy she waited this long though.

I am sickened by those who still leave nasty remarks about parenting and how we need to discipline or hit kids. Ms. Nelson saw nothing. Her post is sheer speculation. People cannot read captions anymore.